Note: In the first post in this three-part series, I wrote about my community’s theme for this year and what it means to show up for ourselves in our own lives. This month I’ll focus on what it means to show up for others in community. You can find Part I here.
From the Perspective of Collective Responsibility…
Whether we identify as introverted, extroverted, ambiverted, or something else, we all desire belonging. The inclination to find inclusion and acceptance—whether in a large group or a tiny circle of friends or family—is one of the driving forces of humanity. It is what inspires us to show up.
Most of us have entirely unsatisfactory examples of what showing up means; most of us have witnessed—or have ourselves participated in—repetitive patterns motivated by fear and an intense desire to be needed, all rooted in trying to serve from an empty vessel. We have most likely seen Loved Ones running themselves ragged, motivated by “what would the neighbors think”. We’ve probably watched friends and family giving until they burned out or became ill in attempts to anticipate and fulfill what others might want. And we’ve all observed terrible (and often non-existent) boundaries and even poorer communication skills.
I know we can do better, and I’m committed to providing and creating better models for showing up. Maintaining a healthy community is one of my passions and it of an utmost priority to me encompassing both my personal and professional realms.
Last month I invited us to establish our personal answers to these questions:
What makes me happy?
What nourishes me?
What is non-negotiable?
What can I not joyfully live without?
Once we take the time to become aware of our answers, we are then correspondingly charged in exchange with the responsibility of feeding and caring for what nourishes us. When we view this exchange from a place of full integrity as a sacred duty, this “giving back” to what serves us becomes absolutely non-negotiable.
Showing up for what we deem significant translates into supporting what we value as best we can with the means we have available, placing our resources in service to what is worthwhile to us, wholly aware that our means can—and will—shift and change from year to year, month to month, week to week, even day to day. It’s imperative that we do not take what feeds us for granted for very long no matter what our personal resources may be in the moment (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, etc.).
It’s vital that we make conscious, daily choices to put our resources—energy, time, money, love, skills, etc.—where our hearts sincerely are. When we find ourselves lacking in one resource, we can share another; for example, if we are low on funds, we can perhaps offer our services by cleaning up after a gathering, assisting with day-to-day organizational matters, taking a carless Elder grocery shopping, or committing to lighting and tending a candle daily to raise energy for the health of the group or a specific needful purpose. We can task ourselves with the things we can do without great strain or struggle, offering our tangible and intangible assets where they can be best used by our community.
Showing up for community includes remaining as aware as possible of all parts of the group: its energetic vortex, its magickal container, its physical resources, its leaders and all the individuals who call it home, and more. We must do our best to remember that if we don’t show up and tend to what we value, it may not be able to carry on; it may no longer be there for us when we most need it.
When choosing to participate in community, it is essential that we also take responsibility for ourselves, our obligations, and our Agreements without needing reminders, flattery, or other enticement to do so (because, in addition to other concerns, this in itself taxes resources by causing energy leaks for leaders and others to patch up).
It’s important that we value all that is done for us by our kindred—as well as additionally *valuing all we do for others*…and it’s necessary that we are cognizant of the fact that this may bring up old feelings and issues around self-worth, self-esteem, and self-love. Let’s do our best to continue recognizing that we are “good enough,” “worthy enough,” and “deserving enough,” remembering that we must first and, above all, value our own inherent consequence.
When we are in a community that we value, we organically feel called place it in or near the center of our lives and treat it as a foundational piece of our world. (Important note: If you don’t feel this way about your community, Dear Ones, it’s probably time to graciously, clearly, and cleanly take your leave.)
Using Sisterhood of the Moon as a specific example, showing up means abiding by our Circle Expectations when we attend ritual as well as conscientiously observing our Community Code of Ethical Conduct in all of our interactions with one another. Adhering to our Ethical Code is a both a trust and a safety issue. When we are confident that all in the group will show up for our ethics together, we can trust one another to do the deep, transformation magick we are pledged to.
Showing up for one another in community creates intimacy and connection. It evokes that sweetness we all search for. It releases stress. It allows and gives permission to others to also show up both for themselves and for others, whether in our spiritual community or elsewhere. Authentic showing up allows us to be exactly who we are without worrying about the “what ifs” (i.e., “what if no one likes me,” “what if I don’t say or do the right thing,” “what if I’m not worthy,” etc.—you get the picture).
When we show up for ourselves and for others, we are reminded that our actions speak far louder than our words. What we do and how we do it is an expression of our true essence. Anyone can declare their support but showing up for the doing of it is entirely another thing! Our actions birth our words—our true intentions—into being, into manifestation.
And showing up isn’t just our physical presence. Our bodies can be present but that doesn’t mean we’ve shown up. Our attitudes, our body language, the attention we choose to pay (or not pay) are all parts of showing up, of being truly and energetically present.
Showing up is being intentional about the energies we are bringing with us, of remaining as mindful as possible about what our energetic container—our etheric pool—looks and feels like. Showing up is the *Being* in the “Be here now”.
It’s the Year of Showing Up, Dear Ones. What needs your dedicated support right now in order to continue? To thrive? Where can you help?
With Love, Lady Jesamyn
Art: 1: pixabay.com; 2: Belle Moi; and 3: Priestess Sabrina Moon