When You’re Back To Where You Started


Five years ago, when I first began padding down the soft dirt of the pagan path, I remember that I made a different internet identity. It was, in many ways, my first official step into discovery. Separated from my name, I could write, discuss, and learn freely; I became shaped by the wonderful people whom I met, especially when I stumbled upon devotional polytheist (and y’all know where I ended up on that one). Eventually I felt comfortable enough to bring my two identities together and, using my real name, writing as an out-pagan. I thought that would be the end of it.

Yet here I am, right at the beginning. I am embarking on something new as I leave away the old — and I’m standing exactly where I was five years ago. I am feeling that new-ness again, that fresh air and wide space where learning and experience is at its finest and deepest. I feel creative and my brain is going wild. I feel inspired and see the Powers around me, clear as day. I feel pulled to learn and to discover the next parts of my most authentic self.

I have been away from the Gods — and I know that I am returning not only to Them but to myself.

And I realize: it’s okay to come back to where you started. It’s okay to come back to the first step. It’s okay to come full circle.

After all, how can you continue if you don’t remember where you started?

In the background, Flame-Hair gives me a wide grin that makes me laugh from both discomfort and amusement. Hanging upside down from the ceiling, His kohl-lined gaze smirks; His laugh lines are strong, looking like scars gracing his eyes.

Are you ready to Work?

More posts to come regularly (officially) every week.

About the Author

I'm a devotional polytheist, Seer, budding theologian and academic who is poking into modern traditional witchcraft just to see what's going on. I'm a god-spouse of Cernunnos and work with many other Gods, Goddesses, Spirits, Entities, and Ancestors. Currently I'm balancing moving from a Master's in Theological Studies to a PhD in Historical and Cultural Studies of Religion (where I will specialize in studying the pagan communities of the United States!) alongside two ongoing devotionals and generally keeping up with life as a polytheist!

Author Archive Page