rape culture

Definition of a thing

tw: discussion of sexual consent, gaslighting, rape culture Gaslighting gets tossed around a lot and you probably know what it is or have inferred it. Here is how I define it – you doubt your own lived experience to the point where you question reality and in more extreme cases, your sanity. It actually comes from a stage play that was made into a movie with Ingrid Bergman, if you want a popular culture touchpoint.  Often times a low harm version of gaslighting is practical jokes like changing out someone’s pants for a smaller or larger size to convince them […]

When it happens to you

tw:sexual assault, rape culture Again, warning: Practice self care. This happened to me. Not someone I know. Not a friend of a friend. I am not, nor will I name names because that is not the point of this. I was, as per my usual, working a con. I was on duty and is often times the norm in that culture, when a hug is offered you tend to accept. Standing in the hallway near a function room a male-identified person (X) that I knew well enough on sight to nod to (it was a small-ish con of a couple […]

Dubious consent and gaslighting

tw:assault, dubious consent, gaslighting I’m putting the warnings right up top. Practice self-care. Next, this is not a story that happened to a friend of a friend. This happened to people I know. I was there. It was involved. I am not, nor will I name names because that is not the point of this. Several years ago I was working an event and two of my staff got into a conflict. They were both on duty, it was in the event space and one of them had a duty radio on them. The male identified person(A) made a pass […]