I’m always hesitant about stepping into leadership in my community. I feel called to share my gifts, and resist the glare of the spotlight. Scrutiny is a difficult thing, but my religious community prides itself on being fully human in all the places of our lives. We encourage and embrace each other as we flail and fall, dust off our knees, and rise to the task again and again. We neither coddle nor punish weakness. Sometimes we punish strength. We walk the edges – try not to fall into codependence, hold our boundaries, and push through our discomfort.
When I’m around other leaders, particularly the charismatic ones, I sidle up to them hoping for rub-off. Charisma rub-off, sure. Confidence by proximity? Please! What I really want, though, is a shield of protection.