In my experience with pagan communities, we are seen (and often see ourselves) as irresponsible, unable to be on time [pagan standard time, anyone?], with this sort of ‘hippy dippy’ culture. This isn’t something to be proud of, in my opinion. We have the power to affect great and real change, but we can’t even get to a workshop on time nor have we managed to create established churches, seminaries, or land spaces except for the rare few. It’s so frustrating that ‘calendaring’ seems to be a foreign concept, and I so appreciate events like Pantheacon that specifically say “we do not run on pagan standard time”.
In the same vein, this graphic that I saw reposted on Facebook had me rolling my eyes so hard they about fell out:
First, my literal, fore-front Self was like: “’Just meet me under the sky somewhere’? Do you have any idea, conceptually, of how large an area that is on this planet or how many people I would have to sift through to find you?? The surface area is 196.9 million miles squared. I’ll assume we aren’t talking about inside of caves since they’re not within view of the sky. There are 7.5 billion people alive right now, so we have a 1 in 7.5 BILLION chance of meeting each other. What. The. Fuck. If you don’t make specific plans, then, clearly, the chances of us showing up at the same time in the same place are infinitesimal.”
Obviously my second thought was that this couldn’t possibly have been meant literally. It’s figurative, more metaphorical in nature. Let’s not have an itinerary and a plan and a reason, let’s just get together at a predetermined time and place and then ‘go on an adventure’ and ‘experience life’. Yea… that’s some trite, romanticized bullshit is what that is. It literally means nothing. You don’t even practice yoga without setting an intention for your practice, so don’t tell me to go out somewhere random to breathe the air.
Are we going out to meditate? To specifically have an adventure? To talk and share hopes and dreams? AWESOME. Let’s go. Want to go nap somewhere? I’m down! But this phrase of go “somewhere and be alive”? Like, as opposed to be dead? What do you mean ma’am? Be impeccable with your word!
Don’t think I forgot the first sentence. You aren’t good at making plans? That’s why we invented calendars, date books, phone apps, and a general sense of standardized time telling. Write it down. Record it. Do that 2 or 3 times if you need to, so that it sticks. Wear a watch that gives you digital calendar reminders. Anyone can do it, with perhaps a bit more effort depending on your situation. Making an excuse like that is ridiculous and makes you sound painfully lazy.
This weird belief that setting goals, making plans, creating intentions, and then actually following through on them somehow makes you less pagan or less witchy drives me batty. Where in the hell did it come from? Why are people so surprised when someone is successful and they’re told it wasn’t just a passive ritual for abundance but a ‘beat the pavement’ mentality that got shit done? You can’t win the lottery if you don’t even buy a ticket… People ask published authors how they ‘did it’ and are actually bemused when told to write as if it were a full-time job, with no time or patience for silly things like ‘writers’ block’. You have to put in time and effort!
People who can’t commit, who are habitually late…*incoherent sound of frustration and rage*. It doesn’t appear to be generational or gender related, so why this insane lack of disrespect for others’ time? Why do you not value the 5-10 minutes I am habitually waiting for you? Do you genuinely think I have nothing better to do or that you’re that important? The sheer arrogant entitlement of why some people think it’s OK to walk into ritual late & disrupt the process, or expect it to start late because they weren’t present – blows my mind.
I’ve been guilty of being late, of course! I think we all have. But I don’t make a habit of it, and more than that, I feel truly sorry that I’ve kept someone waiting or disrupted an event. If you aren’t the sort who makes it a habit to be late, or who claims they can’t calendar and that’s why they didn’t show up at a friend’s wedding, or never keeps plans with friends because it’s ‘too structured’ – well, this wasn’t aimed at you. I’m sure some of you are guilty of this stuff on the regular, though, and you may or may not be offended. I’d be open to a discussion if you want to leave me a comment! And hey, if I’ve given voice to some of your pet peeves in this little rant, comment and let me know that too!
And now, we can all continue on our merry way being on time, calendaring appropriately, following through with plans, and making shit happen.